“GuyFi” Booth Opens in NYC For Midday Jackers

Posted January 19, 2016 8:07 AM by with 0 comments

According to Complex, last summer in New York, the NYPD was searching for a phantom jacker who was rubbing one off behind the subway trains. To combat the “epidemic” of public masturbation, Hot Octopuss, the UK company behind the Guybrator, has introduced the “GuyFi” booth …

Old New York was lit for pervs once upon a time. Times Square—or as the locals called it, 40-Deuce—used to be their Disneyland littered with 25 cent peep shows, sex shops, adult theaters, and prostitutes.

The ‘GuyFi’ can be found on 28th street and 5th avenue, complete with a chair, laptop, and curtain so you can yank the ole one-eyed, purple-headed yogurt slinger in peace like the good Lord intended.

According to TimeOut, “39% of New Yorkers ‘self-soothe’ in the workplace to alleviate stress.”

With all of the talk of ‘New York values’ in the Trump V. the rest of the world GOP tussle, you can imagine how the right wing nut jobs over at Consternation HQ, aka Breitbart.com feel about things. Actually, you don’t have to imagine at all …

guyfi masturbation booth nyc

The press release explains further: “According to Time Out, a remarkable 39% of New Yorkers ‘self-soothe’ in the workplace to alleviate stress. Hot Octopuss has created the GuyFi booth to take this habit out of the office and into a more suitable environment designed to give the busy Manhattan man the privacy, and the high-speed Internet connection, he deserves.”

But curiously enough, the Breitbart does add two tasty bits of additional intel …

“It’s completely free of charge… all that we ask is they thank us when they get their promotion! We’ve aimed our booth at men because they are our main customers but we invite people of all genders to use. And don’t worry, we are working on solutions specifically tailored for women and trans people too.”

How inclusive!

See you all on 28th and Fifth.

Hman out.

Tags: , ,

Leave a Reply