Hummer Bummer: Drunk Dude Passes Out In An Alley, Wakes Up Helping To Feed The Homeless

On this Friday in “You Can’t Make This Shit Up Because Truth Really Is Stranger Than Fiction Land:”

“Boy was I drink last night” has been officially redefined.

Seems an unidentified bearded man from an undisclosed location had a wee bit too much to drink last night.

This morning, he woke up in an alley, with a homeless man giving him a blow job to the bemusement of two pigeons and a passer by who snapped the picture and alerted the authorities.

The homeless man was later located and taken into custody.

At the time of his arrest, he was, and I quote, “digging a hot dog out of the trash.”

In honor of the holiday weekend, I am just going to let that hang in the air.

 

(h/t DudeComedy)

 

More Labor Day Weekend Gems

In the week before Labor Day, Eli, a poor country farmer won $480,000 in the Lottery. As a treat he took his wife and their four children to see the Labor Day parade in New York.

They booked into the Sheraton International at the corner of Park Circle and Central Park North. Having never been further than their local town, Benton in Arkansas they were bowled over by glitz and excitement of the “Big Apple”.

Eli and his son Clem were especially mesmerised by a shiny box with silver walls. They had never before met with doors that could move apart, and then automatically come back together again. Neither had seen an elevator [lift] before. Therefore, they were amazed when a little old lady entered the shiny box and the door closed. The lights outside on the wall flashed for a minute, then the doors opened and out came a beautiful young woman.

Eli turned to his son Clem and said, ‘Son, go get your mother.’

I remember, when I went away to college at Southern Methodist University in Dallas, my aunt sent me a book with the rules of being a Southern Belle. One of the rules was to never wear white after Labor Day. Fashion has a lot to do with confidence and making up your own rules. ~Kourtney Kardashian

I believe that summer is our time, a time for the people, and that no politician should be allowed to speak to us during the summer. They can start talking again after Labor Day. ~Lewis Black

Tags: Public Sex, weird news