Caleb Carter Commits Suicide

Posted February 22, 2009 12:55 AM by with 26 comments


Shockingly sad news via Jason Curious that controversy-courting porn star Caleb Carter has hung himself. His body was discovered at his home in San Diego yesterday. Caleb starred in 13 movies since he began doing porn in 2004, including AMG’s Resurrection and Shane’s World’s College Invasion as well as appearing in the gay porn documentary “Everything You Wanted to Know About Gay Porn Stars* … *but were afraid to ask.”.

Despite his limited output, Caleb managed to make a name for himself in the industry by being somewhat of a provocateur. His on-stage dissing of Kathy Griffin at the 2007 GayVN Awards got him booed. He posted a video of himself sexy-dancing in front of a confederate flag. He flipped off his boyfriend’s parents (and was subsequently dumped) on the MTV dating show Parental Control. Both Jason and JC Adams have left touching memorials for their friend on their sites.

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26 responses to Caleb Carter Commits Suicide

  1. Al February 22nd, 2009 at 12:11 PM

    What an empty, attention-whore loser. He won’t be missed.


  2. JG February 22nd, 2009 at 10:20 PM

    I am so sorry that someone was in so much pain and this was the option he felt suited him best. I am sorry for his family and I hope he is in peace.


  3. Brad February 23rd, 2009 at 10:23 AM

    That dude was way feminine and pure trash. This is when Karma kicks you in the ass when you are fake, stuckup and think you are the shit. May the Karma continue to happen to the rest of the pretenious fucks that act this way.


  4. Mark February 23rd, 2009 at 11:22 AM

    Someone should compile a table of how many gay porn stars commit suicide, die early due to “congenital heart problems,” or overdose on drugs. I’d be really interested to see what one’s official risk would be, and compare it to straight porn stars too.


  5. Brad is a Protozoa February 24th, 2009 at 7:40 PM

    “That dude was way feminine and pure trash”

    Gee, “way feminine” =
    Destined to commit suicide?
    Deserving of your mindnumbingly idiotic posting?
    “Pure trash” because he doesn’t fit your myopic, homophobic expectations of gender presentation?

    Perhaps you can clarify for us, “Brad.” Clearly, you are an authority on the rubric of “karmic” retribution the likes of which the rest of us can only aspire to be…


    • BlogZilla May 25th, 2014 at 8:33 PM

      I think in his ineloquent manner the point he was trying to get across is that the porn industry attracts a lot of lost people. And yes, it certainly does


  6. Cranky February 24th, 2009 at 7:45 PM

    i laughed in the video the guys were talking about how they want “masculine” men and they are all a bunch of nelly queens.

    That video was not a good tribute. He looked like an a-hole.

    Remember kids Suicide is a permanent solution to a temporary problem.


  7. Dan February 24th, 2009 at 9:19 PM

    I think talking shit about a kid who just killed himself probably does a number on your karma as well.


  8. James February 25th, 2009 at 4:49 AM

    Jeesh Brad and Al. Take it easy. I’m sure your folks raised you to have some manners. Stomping on a guy’s grave and then yammering about karma? That’s ironic.


  9. kai February 25th, 2009 at 10:32 AM

    you tell em Dan


  10. Andy February 25th, 2009 at 1:19 PM

    While I am sure that he was amply endowed, I doubt he “hung” himself.

    This notice should have read that he “hanged” himself.

    Saying that he hung himself would indicate that he did the crime using a very unlikely item..


  11. Anonymous February 25th, 2009 at 3:19 PM

    Parental Control is a scripted show – so do not pass judgement on him based on that.

    Everyone is entitled to their opinions but posting negative opinions of dead person shows no class


  12. Nijinsky February 26th, 2009 at 3:05 AM

    I forget that the people writing the notices here went to Harvard, and like to have their material condoned by Chichi. Perhaps, if they went on more medications, they would destroy enough of their brains to even notice…

    Pesky thing compassion isn’t it when all you’re after it what’s already been hung, by someone else?


  13. Jim February 28th, 2009 at 10:30 PM

    I am sorry to hear about this young man commiting suicide. My condolences go out to his family and friends in their time of mourning. Even though I don’t know Caleb Carter, I just wish that I could have been there for him in his time of need to talk him out of killing himself. He was a very handsome young man and had everything to live for. What a tragedy this is!


  14. Chuck March 1st, 2009 at 5:45 PM

    Gentlemen All

    I am Ben Gilbert’s (aka; Caleb Carter) step-father.

    I have been roaming thru these various sites and blogs gathering information about our Benny and his short life with us all.

    First off, Ben had a wise mouth on him at times and deserved to be slapped at times. And it did happen a couple of times in the past 5 years. But as far as his role in the MTV shows, it was scripted and it was played up. We talked to him about it. In fact, Matt was not even his BF. They were good friends only and played the parts as directed. That is all. Ben was good at that type of character.

    Although his passing is tragic in many ways for us, we must not be too sudden in our sharp commentary about his life or his character.

    We as his parents were well aware of Ben’s involvement in this industry. He was in this business for several reasons. He was a gay man, a proud man and a good son to us and and good friend to many others. Yes he had his flaws, but let the least of you without flaws of your own be the first to cast a stone.

    Although it is taking every bit of restraint at this moment inside of me to not cut you to shreds with my anger and sharp condemnations, I will offer some good advice.

    You have no facts or idea of why our son ended his life in this way. Thus, I would ask that you practice some patience and understanding and ask for answers why as opposed to acting like insensitive people. Shame on you. It is clear that you do not have children of your own, but my friends; you do have mothers and fathers. You can only hope that your life will never encounter the trials and struggles that Ben had.

    You have no idea of how hard he worked to try and break away from the porn lifestyle and how he wrestled within himself to find love for himself such as that of what his mother has with me.

    His last words in a message to a dear friend were “I just want to be normal”.

    We all like icebergs. Very little of each of us is exposed to the world, but our more complex and deeper self remains submerged in a sea of darkness and confinement. We only reveal what we wish the world to see.

    I am sure that you each have revealed very little of yourselves to the world and people around you. You each keep hidden, secrets and traits and sins and thoughts from the world around you.

    I am not here to condemn or complain or threaten. I am only here to let you know that our Ben was complex and hurt and struggled with his self, his soul.

    He used his sexuality to mask his pain and to reassure himself of who he believed himself to be.

    If you watched his acting, if you enjoyed it, if you shared it, you then also perpetuated the pain.

    I suffer from porn addiction myself and Ben and I discussed this problem a few times over the recent years. I was hoping that sharing my problem would help him see what he was doing to further the pain of others, including himself.

    I ask each of you to call your mothers and fathers tonight and tell them you Love them and you care about them and you care about yourselves and your well being.

    Remember that we are never given more than we can handle and when it seems too much, to ask for help. Taking ones life is never the solution. You will never want to leave the pain and questions in the minds and hearts of those that will be left to contend with your passing.

    We always believed we would lose Benny as a young lad.

    We will miss him dearly for the remainder of our lives. A whole in our hearts that just can never be filled or paved over. A pain that I hope and pray you will never ever have to experience.

    He will be missed on many levels by so many and not so missed by others. I can with great confidence say the say for each of us that have chimed in here on this blog.

    I appreciate the comments that attempt to defend Ben and his life. I also appreciate the fact that this is a free country and we all have our rigth to say what we feel or bleof which I and two of his brothers served in our military to protect. That included Ben, his friends and his community.

    Thru him we learned tolerance and love and also to overcome our fears and illusions of his lifestyle choice. We never ever judged Ben for his choices in life, but instead prayed that he would be safe and protected and looked after in all his adventures. We would like to think that God took him before he could do more harm to his soul. We all are trying to rationalize this as best we can until we can get better answers and they are coming to us every day thanks to Ben’s friends and what we find in his journals and personal effects.

    So enough of me getting in here and sharing as I have. It is time to move on with our lives and carry a message that life isn’t always easy and that it is the tough times that makes us strong and builds our characters to be more than we like to think ourselves to be.

    Love you life and Love your family and friends and even the stranger. You never know what good turn may come of it.

    Chuck Martin
    Ben’s Loving Step-Father eternal.


  15. ewan March 2nd, 2009 at 7:39 AM

    he looks like ricky martin…


  16. Nijinsky March 3rd, 2009 at 1:34 AM

    I’m really sorry, but the day that the military defends my freedom of speech: that’s the day when no one gets killed in a war (even though that might change the definition of the word), the military-industrial complex gets off of it’s desire to find new ways to kill and starts making solar and wind technology for people in the developing countries (rather than destabilizing their countries to aid Western exploitation) – and the day that you are allowed to have the same dignity as a squirrel and walk naked outside in the sunlight without getting arrested! OR JEERED AT!
    Perhaps if one wouldn’t have such an inflated idea of themselves that they believe such behavior to be “love” and dare to say that another struggled to find “that” in themselves, there would be no need for this whole post!


    And I had a mispelling my prior post:
    “Pesky thing compassion isn’t it when all you’re after it what’s already been hung, by someone else?”
    should have read:
    Pesky thing compassion isn’t it when all you’re after is what’s already been hung, by someone else?


  17. SID March 3rd, 2009 at 4:15 AM

    My condolences to the family no one should be in so much pain that they have to commit suicide. You forget that gay men are judge alot and frowned upon my best friend is afraid to come out of the closet and yet you think he is an attention seeking whore loser maybe he didn’t want to be so as gay men i would think you would be the lat to pass judgment on this poor boy


  18. Nijinsky March 4th, 2009 at 11:15 PM

    My condolences to the family, who I’m sure did what they felt was best for Ben, with their own beliefs. I admire the courage to post here, with all these hateful remarks, encouraging others not to take such a plunge.
    What’s sad is that I think Ben was probably way more “normal,” then he thought he was, he simply was honest about it, rather than being a bizarre copy of how to push your “normal” desires to the side and fit into the group of everyone trying to fit into a contrived society and call it normal. And it’s that “society” which is on a ship destined to sink.


  19. Ads March 6th, 2009 at 12:10 AM

    alot of written above s totally disrespectable and its sad to have people say things like that. Porn star or Garbage man as far as i’m concerned we need to feel for a loss if not for yourself then feel the loss for his grieving family…..


  20. Tim1965 March 7th, 2009 at 1:43 PM

    Ben was intelligent, very caring, very generous, and very funny. That last attribute was probably his best. He was so funny that he could have people laughing in tears. He could riff on a subject for a half hour, and have people laughing like a “Comedy Central” stand-up special.

    He himself knew that he suffered from intensely low self-esteem and almost no self-confidence. He struggled with his sexuality, oddly, and often told people that he felt constantly judged because he was gay. Yet, when pushed into a corner, he could defend his sexuality with all the power, intelligence, and wit at his command (which was substantial).

    Ben was a wonderful human being. Everyone who met him counted him among their best of friends, for he always was ready to lend an ear, offer support, and put his arm around you. He never judged. And he could be amazingly considerate at times.

    I don’t know why he committed suicide. Four days before he took his own life, he was proudly showing off his latest tattoo. What’s tragic is that he didn’t need to die. There wasn’t anything in his life (that anyone knows about) that would have rationally led him to commit suicide. He didn’t have painful, inoperable cancer or something like that. He hadn’t committed murder or rape or something which would afflict his conscince.

    Thing very sad thing is that he felt so alone, so isolated, so despairing that he didn’t reach out and let others who loved him help support him in his time of trouble and despair.

    No one can condemn him for what he did. Sometimes, the pain in a person’s life is so intolerable, so deep, that not even the absolute love of friends and family can help. It just eases the passage… and so Ben passed from one life to the next. Everyone who knew him is upset because he was a real light in people’s lives. Those who knew him well believe he hadn’t reached rock-bottom, and that he should have reached out for help. But no one is going to condemn him for not doing so. He hurt, a lot, and no one wanted him to hurt any more. We’re sad because we’ve lost him. We needed him a LOT more than he needed us. Our need just wasn’t enough for him to stick around… And that’s OK. But God, we need him back.


  21. markz March 14th, 2009 at 11:32 PM

    Through his uncle with whom I am good friends, I recently met Ben and his parents. What neat, energetic, intelligent, caring, and honest people. Everyone who knew Ben loved him and now suffers.

    Pray for his family and friends instead of bringing about and spreading negativity. Don’t we all have a few problems? Who of us is perfect? Who of us dare criticize, in actuality JUDGE, another individual? I thank God that you are not MY final judge.

    Your negative comments reflect your own short-comings. Get a clue. Life is too short. Celebrate the goodness of life rather than destroying it.

    God bless you and keep you safe, Ben.


  22. Duh March 29th, 2009 at 9:56 PM

    Whatever, OK!?
    Anyone looking for this old Gheezer, who spits out light,ningZZZZzzzzz and like can’t grab the gavel until someone would have to go either way about it, as if they don’t have their own choice –


  23. R June 3rd, 2009 at 1:30 AM

    I’m shattered by this loss. This person was a human being that had depth and was very intelligent. Some of you should be ashamed for being so callous. You need to look beyond the surface. My heart goes out to the family. I hate that we live in a world where there is so much pain and lack of empathy… Ben you are missed and if family rereads this..know that people out there are thinking of the guy with quick wit and our prayers are with you.


  24. God December 28th, 2009 at 8:06 AM

    Rest in peace Ben.


  25. Craig April 30th, 2016 at 1:54 AM

    There are some really asswipe comments on here about a person these dickheads didn’t know or even cared about. The old saying – don’t speak ill of the dead would seem to apply. We don’t know anyone’s suffering or trials and troubles. Don’t be so quick to judge. Others may be calling those who posted asshole comments vile things after they die. Karma can be a bitch.


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