THE AMAZING MICHAEL LUCAS RESPONSE TO NICK GRUBER
As some of you are aware, former gay-for-pay superstar and ex-boytoy of Calvin Klein Nick Gruber was booted out of a Fire Island charity event by Michael Lucas after he complained about gay people touching him. His apology to Lucas — and Lucas’s incredible response, after the jump …
Dear Michael Lucas: (1)
I am sorry that we had a misunderstanding this past weekend at Fire Island. I did not really understand how a big party like that worked (2), and when I was asked to leave your part of the party, I definitely overreacted. Please accept my apologies.
I came with my friends Hal Rubenstein (3) and his partner David Nichol, who work on the charity arm of the party (Fund In The Sun), but I didn’t understand that people had paid for separate areas. Their fund has donated $750,000 (4) to charities and is an important not-for-profit so I think it’s great that you supported them by buying a private area of your own. I hope I didn’t spoil anyone’s day.(5) It was a fun and unique (6) party and I was glad to be there.
I hope next time we meet we can have a coffee and I can apologize in person.(7)
(1) Who calls someone by their full name, unless it’s Oprah? Or unless you’re sending out so many apologies you use mail merge?
(2) You were Calvin Klein’s boyfriend, attended countless benefits in the Hamptons and were feted at Indochine. You don’t know how parties worked?
(3) In addition to everything else, wrote Paisley Goes With Nothing: A Man’s Guide to Style, which I’ve consulted for nearly 20 years.
(4) toot toot!
(5) Giving full Rhoda Penmark here.
(6) Does this mean gay? I can’t decide if he’s ESL or soft-headed or the girl who shit in the ball crawl at a Chuck E. Cheese birthday party.
(7) ” … when Logo brings back The A-List”
… and she got this in response. Savor it.
Thank you for your apology. However, I fear that you have misunderstood why I was offended . The problem was not that you had mistakenly come to the wrong area of the party (and it doesn’t matter to me at all who you came with or how much they donated). Many people knew just as little as you did about how the party was set up, but somehow no one else got into a big argument about it.
The problem was that your behavior was boorish and loudly homophobic. Screaming that you are straight and that you don’t want gay men to touch you would be unacceptable in any social situation, much less a crowded gay party. If you are so defensively straight that you truly can’t bear the idea of gay people touching you, then maybe a crowded gay party might not be the best place for you. Please feel free to write “I am straight” on your forehead and stay home. No one will bother you there, and you won’t bother anyone back.
(1) I think you mean, “served.”