Cruz Control

The depths of the deeply conservative and religious views held by Ted Cruz make the average cloistered nun look more like “Mailbu Barbie.” Doesn’t it figure he was the first to officially toss his 1950’s fedora into the into GOP presidential ring and officially inaugurate open season for 2016 Clown Car.

Ennui Mankini describes himself as an, “Author of Erotic Parodies” who defies existence. He also defies moral high-handedness of our beloved Senator from Texas in the most colorful way: The Many Hues of Ted Cruz: A Crayon Erotica Parody, available at Amazon.

Senator Ted Cruz is on the Presidential campaign trail, but losing focus and fast thanks to a blossoming sexual obsession with the colors of the rainbow pride flag. He crosses paths with a box of crayons in a convenience store and a night of passion ensues. Can these waxy lovers sate his colorful needs? A tacky wetness inflicted the front of his trousers. He had come. He was furious with himself for dropping the milk. Ted Time is supposed to happen on *Ted’s* Time!

This stallion had lapped him. He’d missed it. Long gone. Yet, he knew the horse could be brought back around the track. He had been there many times before, so he knew he needed to work with it. He needed more than himself.

Contrary to Cruz’s characteristic divisiveness, Ennui Mankini invites all to join in on the fun:

Right click, save the image, color it and send you masterpiece to ted@ennuimankini.com.

If only Cruz was really this easy to control. Right around the 3:10 mark, Stephen Colbert’s audience let him precisely what they think of the Senator’s unwavering stance on gay marriage …

One more thing, Senator:

See you all the government shutdown over Planned Parenthood … and tell em Ted sent ya!

Tags: Election 2016, homophobia, Homophobic Humor, Ted Cruz