Lucas Marries Dashing Hopes of Straight Women Everywhere
With the today’s election and special Oprah episode yesterday on vibrators, it’s becoming evident we’ve entered a new era. Old taboos have been shattered and a new compassion has fallen on the land. Take the oddly sweet marriage of Michael Lucas last week. Lucas, deemed a gay porn neocon by The New Republic only months ago, was humbled to accept the hand of a possible communist sympathizer. Are we in backwards land?
Given the fact that Chi Chi LaRue weighs about 95 lbs, evidently so. Lucas, whose previous best known union was in the Venn diagram of Bottega Veneta and watersports, is now known to straight guys as a ladies’ man. In the most recent issue of Esquire, in an article on women who love porn, Lucas acknowledged that his body is jill-off material for quiet a few of the fairer sex based on the volume of mail he gets. (Given his rave reviews Savannah Sampson gave their during the filming of La Dolce Vita, we shouldn’t be surprised.)
We have to admit though, that it’s not Lucas’ romantic side that endears us to him, it’s the side that dresses up in eyeliner, pees on twinks and attempts to capture the magic of farts on film. In case all this talk of marriage and hockey moms with batteries has tricked you, here’s a little walk down memory lane to remind us why we’ll never see him behind a picket fence …