TONGUES (UN)TIED: KINK CALLS FOR SCRIPTS

You know that flickering movie you play behind your eyes in the shower when you’re home for Thanksgiving and don’t have any porn? You know the thing you wish your boyfriend would do to you, but you’ve never brought up because where would you get the panda costume? You know that brilliant porn concept you came up with, something something and the Fudge Factory? We’ll, STFU and write it already, you disgusting pig.

Kink Men is offering $2,000 for their next big script.

You have the next two weeks to write down your deepest, darkest. Granted, it has to be produceable on their sets, and probably got to be kink-y for them to choose it*, but you stand to make a bunch of cash, capture two grand and have your wildest nightmares come to life like leather Golem.

The Great Kink Script Writing Contest (deadline November 30)

— Mike

Given past Kink history, this might include any of the following Christian slaves, recreational water-boarding, the movie Deliverance, the movie Silence of the Lambs, pandas, a Roman Bath, a man in a catwoman outfit, the movie Oliver Twist, the movie Short Circuit, sort of, a kind of Sotheby’s auction for the criminally insane, sexy Abu Graib/sexy Blair Witch, polyorchidism, candle wax (soy), the bathhouse of horror, the movie Brokedown Palace, a speculum, your friend’s weird dad, pistol packin’ mama surprise, bondage Pontius-Jesus, the movie Helter Skelter, the Apple Store, injectable eyeliner, advanced PTSD, James Franco in dress leather, a dildo for a nose, Mao’s Long March, the name James Bondage.