Butt Machine Boys: The Ass Master & CJ

South America has really been rubbing salt in our wounds lately, hasn't it? Just take a look at Brazil's recent successful bid for the 2016 Olympics (beating out Chicago) and, in a move that hits closer to home, it has even stolen away one of our own, fellow editor Mike, who'll be enjoying the Argentine sunshine (read: uncut cocks) for the foreseeable future. But these are just two minor setbacks. The United States is still the undoubted leader in cultural exports -- just try and name a place that compares to our sense of American Exceptionalism or produces as many movies with so much gratuitous violence (i.e., "torture porn") and, of course, the inevitable porn spoofs based on those movies. USA! USA! USA!

Sure, some might argue that movie series like Butt Machine Boys, whose plots rely (too) heavily on recycling philosophically disingenuous concepts (i.e., appreciating the meaning of life through forcible coercion) in the Saw franchise, are perfect examples of what's wrong with it/us; those people are right nerds. But that doesn't mean you have to enjoy The Ass Master and CJ on those terms alone. First of all, this movie has a pale-skinned, rosy-cheeked and slim but well-hung CJ (pictured above and below), who gets mercilessly reamed at both ends by hydraulic dildo-pumping robots! I'm pretty sure the original didn't have that going for it -- it definitely had actors whose cheeks were artificially enhanced with cosmetic rouge.

After the jump, a tour of all four torture devices CJ has to endure in order to earn his release from Jigsaw's the Ass Master's dungeon.

First up is the Venus 2000, which I'd describe as a combination of inflatable cock ring and pneumatic hands-free Fleshlight; it's basically a noisy blow job machine -- it might be helpful to think of it as a professional version of that jerry-rigged vacuum cleaner we've all stuck our dick into at least once in our lives. (Right? Guys?) Or, uh, you could also just take a look at some of the preview stills from the movie below, they give you a better idea of how it works and also of CJ's close (pubic) shave:

Next is a dildo sword, which technically doesn't count as a machine. But you can't just dive head-first into a needlessly complicated machine for a relentless piston-fueled butt hammering, that's something you work up to, apparently. Good thing too -- we know CJ's got a huge dick, but I'm sure most you will appreciate him spreading those plump ass mounds and shoving a black dildo into that juicy pink hole of his, all in amazing HD glory, of course:

But CJ isn't going to get out of the chain-link leash around his neck that easily; there's still the Scorpion his prostate has to deal with first. CJ's arched back, unclenched hole and all of his horny moaning mean only one thing though: whatever setting this machine is on isn't nearly high enough for him. "And you call yourself the Ass Master?!" -- CJ's asshole:

It looks like the only thing that's going to bring CJ down to his knees is the Predator. You'd think getting bent over and taking it doggy style would hit the spot, but you'd be very very wrong. The Predator is still no match for CJ's hungry ass, which, much like a starved dog, just eats the entire dildo attachment on this machine for breakfast. "Faster, son! He's got a taste for meat now!":

The Ass Master's last resort: a mechanical spit-roasting that throws everything at CJ. It takes getting him on his back, putting his legs in a harness, getting deep-throated while being simultaneously plowed by the Snake machine, to finally get CJ to shoot his load in a blur of sweaty finally-satisfied cum grunts — a moment captured in glorious slow-motion — and to [spoiler alert] eventually earn his well-deserved freedom: