The Adams Report by J.C. Adams
March 22 - 28, 2004

Do you know about Margaret Cho? If you're gay (or gay-adjacent) and you read this column, I can't imagine you don't. Her Web site is www.margaretcho.com and recently she began keeping a blog. It rocks. Go read every word on it. Margaret Cho is a fan of gay porn in a major way. Two years ago, when I did time in a publishing penal colony, I came very close to arranging for Ms. Cho to interview Jeff Stryker. It didn't happen for whatever reason, but it would have been fun to read, eh?

Jeff Stryker recently sent Ms. Cho his action figure. (By the way, Mr. Stryker is online at www.jeff-stryker.com.) Quoted below is what Ms. Cho had to say about His Largeness. It's another reason why, although we have never met, I love Margaret Cho more than luggage. It deserves to be reprinted for a larger audience. Even if you think she's full of sawdust, you have to respect her sincerity. She looks at porn models as people first; human beings with dreams, feelings that get hurt, hopes, disappointments, loves and favorite foods. If I ever accomplish anything with this column, I hope to do the same thing.

Margaret Cho on her Web site: "Jeff Stryker sent me his action figure. I said, 'JEFF STRYKER SENT MEEEEE HIS ACTION FIGURE!!!' I am such a starfucker, but then again, when you are a star yourself (I am being totally sarcastic) then you should be allowed to drop names like bombs over Baghdad.

"It came in the mail, which sounds like one of his many films, with the return address marked JEFF STRYKER, and you know I tore that box open like a foster child on Christmas morning. The box is not unlike a Barbie, special edition of course, and it is no less imposing than the man himself...

"Jeff Stryker, if you are unfamiliar with the name, is a legendary porn star. A man who was clearly born to be an icon. He has the most important member in all recorded history, surpassing Dillinger, and topping John Holmes by more than a few centimeters, not only in length, but also girth.

"Jeff Stryker is also beautiful, a better looking Tom Cruise, with even more boyish charm and innocent, earnest expressions. His body of work is impressive, and he never succumbed to the darker side of the porn industry, letting the game work him to an early death like the tragic Savannah or that poor Joey Stefano or even the aforementioned John Holmes. Jeff Stryker is a survivor. He has done Off-Broadway shows, wildly successful, so well received he has gone on numerous international tours. He has branched out into merchandising, which had given him the status he enjoys today. Artist, entrepreneur, cocksman, star, legend, yardstick, longtime masturbatory fixation of generations of gay men and not more than a few women, and you know know some straight guys too...

"If I were to grant wishes to Jeff Stryker, they would be continued success and happiness, further joy in his work, optimal health both in mind and body, hard-ons that won't quit — I doubt he will ever need any help there — a calm home and restful sanctuary, the life he might want outside of the glare of the public eye, absolute and honest true love, long and prosperous life, small everyday surprises that bring him immense sweetness, depth and mystery still making everything interesting, sunsets that leave him breathless, with the orange and purple hues that God makes at dusk, the holy symphony of nature that we routinely ignore while living on earth, and everything. All and everything that he wishes for, dreams of, loves. I love you Jeff Stryker. Among other things, you also have a gigantic heart."

Wrapping up the GAYVN coverage... A lesser-known tidbit is that emcee Chi Chi LaRue had been discharged from Cedars Sinai two days before hosting the GAYVNs. S/he had just spent five days in the hospital undergoing a "procedure" (her term) on her heart. We met for lunch in West Hollywood recently where we sexually harassed the hot waiters and caught up on recent events, including her heart surgery.

"I went to the doctor's for a checkup," Ms. LaRue explains, "they did some tests, then came back and told me they had to do some other tests. Then my doctor told me to check into the hospital right away." It turns out the tests had uncovered an arterial blockage in Ms. LaRue's heart. A "stint" was inserted into the clogged artery to increase blood flow (similar to an angioplasty in which a balloon is used to expand the artery) and after several days' recovery in a hospital bed, the directrix was sent home.

"I have to take a month off and sit around," she says, "which is hard. Very hard. I had to cancel a lot of stuff, including a huge Rascal Video shoot with twenty-one boys! But to their credit, every single one of them said, 'No problem. Chi Chi has to get better.' I really appreciate that. Not a single one of them complained about getting their money or anything. That means a lot to me."

She is now on a strict diet, working with a trainer, and slowing down — just a bit. "I have some conflicted feelings about letting go of some of the stuff I had planned. It's been rough. But on the other hand, I feel one hundred percent better. I mean, [enough] blood is actually flowing to parts of my body for the first time! I feel better than I have in years."

And she's also happy to dispute a few rumors that naturally swirled around her hospital stay. "I didn't have my legs amputated due to diabetes," she told me as she dramatically rolled her eyes. "I did not collapse anywhere or grab my heart and fall over. I went to the doctor's office for a checkup and he discovered the problem there. And I did not overdose on cocaine. Please, girl!"

At the end of March, Ms. LaRue and entourage will board an airplane for Germany and a Rascal Video International shoot. "Look, my doctor told me I dodged a bullet. And he's right. If this hadn't happened when it did, next week I would have been having a heart attack on an airplane, flying over the ocean. This was a wake-up call, a huge one. And I heard it!"

Last week's Porn Star Birthdays were squeezed out for space considerations, so here is a double-dose:

Porn Star Birthdays from March 15 through March 21: Drew Dornan, Matt Drake, Doug Forbes, Deacon Frost, Matthew Sakk, Clint Williamson, Xavier (March 15); Jason Desjardin, Anthony Gallo, Drew Larson, Nick Manetti, Erick Martins, Sean Paris, Paul Skerritt (March 16); David Dickens, Chris Steele, Ron Strand, Alex Summers, Roland Therrien (March 17); Rob Kirk, Brandon Lee, Jason Miller, Matheus Rocha, Vinnie Rocko, Swanson (March 18); Achille Fanyar, Tuck Johnson, Brad Michaels, Rafael Ramos (March 19); Gianfranco, Buck Phillips, Sven, Cory Taylor (March 20); Bamm, Jay Bergman, Tommy Hart, Alec Martinez, Austin Masters, Walter Soares (March 21).

Porn Star Birthdays from March 22 through March 28: Eric Leneau, Caleb Stone (March 22); Tony Cole, Mike Marino, Karl Tenner, Alex Villaboas (March 23); Mark Anthony, Jeff Dillon, Mark Montana, Ricky Shore (March 24); Hunter Daniels, Anthony Ericson, Brock Hensley, Mike Rivera, Marco Rochelle (March 25); Ben Damon, Gordon Lee, Rick Ritter, Troy Walker (March 26); Thom Barron, Damon Ivy, Jeff Palmer, Ryan Steele, Jack Stuart (March 27); Blake Andrews, Evan Kyle, Conrad Maier, Mitch Ray (March 28).

J.C. Adams is the editor of Inside Porn Magazine and has covered the gay adult video industry since 1995. You can reach him at JCAdamsXXX@aol.com

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