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March 19, 2004

Billy Brandt


I watch the stats to this site closely to see what key words people enter in Google to find this site. ((By the way, if you type "gay porn" in Google, this site comes up third!) Lately, the name BILLY BRANDT has surpassed Zeb Atlas and Mark Dalton as the most frequently searched for porn star. One referring site that has been sending me traffic is VividBlurry.com, and here's his little rant about Billy Brandt:

24 March 2004

How to say "You're fat" in 200 words �

The obligations of a porn star to his public are simple. First, he must maintain an impeccable or virtually flawless body, as judged by a reasonable person of average sensibilities. Second, the porn star must have acted on film with the intent to cause sexual stimulation or with regard of the probability that such stimulation would occur. Finally, no claim to porn stardom exists unless the porn star�s penis is distinguishable in length, girth, stamina, capability or other characteristic commonly used in conjunction with the assessment of male genitalia.

Rarely will a legal claim for breach of contract present such clear-cut evidence of actual violation as that of Billy Brandt, a Falcon Studios porn star who sustained injuries from a serious automobile accident in 2003. In my judgment, Brandt has failed to make good on his binding mutual promise to perform as a porn star under the aforementioned obligations. Brandt would have us find that a State�s interest in protecting a physically injured yet contractually bound individual is sufficient to deny protection to the public from unfit, unshaven and otherwise unappealing porn stars. This I decline to do.

In sum, I find Brandt does not possess the features that would compel Falcon Studios to permit his involvement in the production of future pornographic films.

He then shows "before" and "after" shots of Billy, the "after" shot coming from Fleshbot, and sums it up with:

Augh, I need to stop studying communications law and go to bed.

VividBlurry, you evil skinny bitch. For your sake, you better be mistaking him for his agent standing next to him in the photo you stole from Jonno. Or better yet, if you're studying communications law, you better figure out a way to prevent the FCC from taking Howard Stern off the air. (If the Christian Right succeeds in getting rid of Howard Stern, they're coming after pornographers next.)

Go ahead, fuel more vitrolic ranting about poor Billy, like he hasn't been slammed enough by wackos reading this site.

PS: I added a link to your site, right below the link to Margaret Cho. You better link back, Mr. Vivisection Blurty.

Posted by thesword at March 19, 2004 9:24 PM
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Posted by: sandro at February 16, 2005 11:44 AM
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