Bad Drag Names

With Halloween fast approaching, we must all be on guard to protect any innocent A.D.Q.'s (Amateur Drag Queens) that are unaware of penalties for naming violations. I regret to inform you that the International Registry of Assumed Queer Identities (I.R.A.Q.I.) has expressly forbidden the use of drag names that begin with the following:

Ivana
Anita
Amanda

To date there are 10,567,237 drag queens with the first name "Ivana" , 12,873,472 named "Anita", and 13, 736,382 named "Amanda". Examples of which are:

Ivana Man (or Mann, or Manne)
Ivana Boy
Ivana Daddy
Ivana Dick
Ivana Penis
Ivana Lay (or Lei)
Ivana Fuck
Ivana Suck
Ivana Drink
Ivana Martini
Ivana Beer
Ivana CoronaWithLime
Ivana Joint
Ivana Bump
Anita Man (or Mann, or Manne)
Anita Boy
Anita Daddy
Anita Dick
Anita Penis
Anita Lay (or Lei)
Anita Fuck
Anita Suck
Anita Drink
Anita Martini
Anita Beer
Anita CoronaWithLime
Anita Joint
Anita Bump
Amanda Love
Amanda Hate
Amanda Fuck
Amanda Suck
Amanda Lay (or Lei)

If you include spelling variations (i.e. two n's, or two t's) the numbers of drag queens using the same names are in the billions.

Drag Mothers from all nations are reminded that they must renew their annual dues to I.R.A.Q.I. in order to continue receiving their monthly newsletters so this unfortunate incident is not repeated. (Dues are 12 Snickers bars in a plain wrapped package sent to me.)

The International Registry of Assumed Queer Identities (I.R.A.Q.I.) was created in 1993 to prevent the same problems that nearly destroyed the music industry when punk rock bands ran out of names in 1987.

Sister Zsa Zsa Glamour, SPI SF